Fireside Stories
This is an old Inuit folk tale, first told to me by Mr. Damon Hartung. A slight warning boys and girls, it's a tad bit lewd.
Once upon a time, in a small village, there lived a girl of such stupendous beauty that every man that saw her instantly fell head-over-heels in obssessive love with her. Well, one particularily determined man decided to bypass the powers of fate and went to seek the help of the sorceress of the village. She gave him a special balm, and told him to go down to the river, rub the balm on his penis, after which it would promptly disattach itself from his body and then he was to put it in a little sac (tied up of course so it wouldn't get out). Then, that evening at 11 pm, he was to open the sac. So, our fine hero didn't really understand how DEtaching his penis was going to help him get the girl of his dreams, but he was getting desperate and thought "what-the-hay, might as well give it a try". He followed the directions and everything went according to plan. Then, at night, he opened up the bag and zZEEEP, the penis flew straight out the window and out into the cold winter night. Now, the young man was a little perturbed by this, but he decided to sleep on it and maybe it would come back in the morning. Sure enough, his darling penis returned the very next morning. So, as instructed by the sorceress, he did this every night for two full weeks, hoping that his little sidekick was making progress on its nightly escapades. Then, he put his penis back on and tried to go about life normally.
Meanwhile, the girl of his dreams was having some pretty fine dreams herself. Every morning she would wake up relaxed and refreshed and one night, she decided to stay up (I suppose having a sneaking suspicion that something fishy was going on). And at 11:05 pm, in flew the penis through the window! Under the covers! And Bing! Bang! Boom!, proceeded to shag her until the early hours of the morning. Well, after two weeks, all of a sudden, her nightly visits stopped. Let me just say, she was not happy, in fact, she couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, all she could do was think about that wonderful flying penis. Then one day, down by the river, she saw a man bathing, and who could it be? Why, none other than our hero(penis firmly in place of course). She instantly recognized her long lost love and I suppose came to terms with the fact that it was now accompanied by a somewhat over-eager looking young man. So, she and her penis were happily reunited (wink wink nudge nudge) and they lived happily ever after. The End
Once upon a time, in a small village, there lived a girl of such stupendous beauty that every man that saw her instantly fell head-over-heels in obssessive love with her. Well, one particularily determined man decided to bypass the powers of fate and went to seek the help of the sorceress of the village. She gave him a special balm, and told him to go down to the river, rub the balm on his penis, after which it would promptly disattach itself from his body and then he was to put it in a little sac (tied up of course so it wouldn't get out). Then, that evening at 11 pm, he was to open the sac. So, our fine hero didn't really understand how DEtaching his penis was going to help him get the girl of his dreams, but he was getting desperate and thought "what-the-hay, might as well give it a try". He followed the directions and everything went according to plan. Then, at night, he opened up the bag and zZEEEP, the penis flew straight out the window and out into the cold winter night. Now, the young man was a little perturbed by this, but he decided to sleep on it and maybe it would come back in the morning. Sure enough, his darling penis returned the very next morning. So, as instructed by the sorceress, he did this every night for two full weeks, hoping that his little sidekick was making progress on its nightly escapades. Then, he put his penis back on and tried to go about life normally.
Meanwhile, the girl of his dreams was having some pretty fine dreams herself. Every morning she would wake up relaxed and refreshed and one night, she decided to stay up (I suppose having a sneaking suspicion that something fishy was going on). And at 11:05 pm, in flew the penis through the window! Under the covers! And Bing! Bang! Boom!, proceeded to shag her until the early hours of the morning. Well, after two weeks, all of a sudden, her nightly visits stopped. Let me just say, she was not happy, in fact, she couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, all she could do was think about that wonderful flying penis. Then one day, down by the river, she saw a man bathing, and who could it be? Why, none other than our hero(penis firmly in place of course). She instantly recognized her long lost love and I suppose came to terms with the fact that it was now accompanied by a somewhat over-eager looking young man. So, she and her penis were happily reunited (wink wink nudge nudge) and they lived happily ever after. The End
posted by Lauren at 9:40 AM
5 Comments:
What's the moral of THIS story? Always judge a man by his penis??
Nope. Always judge him by what he can remove, and by what he has in his secret bag.
Judge a man by how well you slept last night i say..
I'm in MO right now, and I slept super well last night, so I judge J.Culleton a fine man.
:)
My cat's been waking me up at 6 am every morning, I say that it's time I get a real door to my room.
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